The Day We've All Been Waiting For/Dreading

It's Valentine's Day. More importantly, it's Chinese New Year, but this post will only be dealing with V-day. Isn't it funny how our personal lives completely determine our feelings toward this annual event? I've never been a super huge fan of the holiday, just because it makes me uncomfortable to have someone doing tons of stuff for me for no real reason, and because I never know what I'm supposed to do for the significant guy in my life. This year, however, I'm approaching it more as a celebration of unabashed consumerism and naivety; my inner cynic is showing a little.

A friend of mine said earlier, "It's Singles Awareness Day!" and truer words were never spoken. My roommate and I have been commiserating since yesterday about our boy troubles, and it got me thinking: why is this liking people business so difficult? Perhaps the most frustrating part is not knowing where you stand with that person. Are you just another chick friend? Is he interested in that other girl? And it ends up with you taking all of the little nonsensical "signals" and assigning them the meaning you wish they carried. He hugged you because you're leaving, not because he wants to do you; he purposely sat beside you because it was the next available seat; he keeps "accidentally" bumping into you because he's a klutz. I won't pretend I don't do this, I won't lie to you, but isn't it just a little stupid? And suppose any of us actually work up the guts to find out for sure how this hypothetical man really feels: we still won't be straightforward. We will send our best friend in to be straightforward, or "casually" mention inviting him out dancing or to a party, or refer to how frustrated your "friend" is about liking some guy. So we still won't know!

I wish I could start a grassroots movement of honesty. I wish we would tell the people we like that we do, in fact, like them, instead of constantly trying to be cool/aloof/friendly/sexy/interesting/not too interested all at the same time and still probably get nowhere with it. But to tell the truth, I would probably be too afraid to follow my own lead. Who would be receptive to someone walking up and saying "I like you, do you like me back?" And isn't it easier to hide behind the layers vagaries afforded us by being indirect? To quote Goethe: If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Wander on.